When I first saw the preview of The Boy Next Door I wasn’t that impressed. To be honest, I’m sure most of you weren’t. I wanted to know what was so different about this movie than the other million movies on Lifetime that were about the same thing! I also wanted to know why JLo was back on the big screen seeing as her ONLY good movie was Selena.
I realize we don’t have many talented female actresses, and it saddens me. Women viewers get to cringe as we get to see more ‘I can’t wait to be naked’ women on the screen who can’t even deliver a convincing cry, but males are excited as they fantasize about Jennifer Lopez all over again like it’s the 2000 Grammys. It’s no secret producers exploit women for their beauty, and it’s quite disheartening what females will do for a paycheck, but at the end of the day most female actresses can’t act, and Jennifer Lopez is one of them! Adding fuel to the fire though, JLo WAS the producer for this movie! She played into the stereotypical sex sells role. GASP
But here are my reasons why I think you should save your time and gas and just forego seeing The Boy Next Door in theaters.
IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE
–If my husband is a cheater, the last thing I’m wearing is my best Vickie’s secret! But Of COURSE JLo who plays Claire Peterson (what kind of GOSH AWFUL name?) had to show-off what she’s MOST famous for — her body — and she’s quite Cover Shoot ready in her sexy black lace lingerie as she toils with the idea of sexing Ryan Guzman. It’s clear JLo just wants to be sexy and relevant again; she’s unimportant now and instead of living a normal life as a mother, she’s decided to produce HORRIBLY choreographed music videos with Iggy and wear some sexy PJs and fitted high-waist skirts to get some attention.
–An almost 20-year-old high school senior?!?! Every red flag in the game should be waved, but shout-out to the producers for establishing his age in the first 10 minutes. Heaven knows the idea of making a movie about a 40-something teacher sleeping with an underage student would’ve just been GOSH AWFUL.
–Can someone explain WHY the son was such a loser? If he was in middle school, then the need to adopt Noah (Ryan Guzman’s character) as his big brother would’ve been more believable. BUT SINCE HE WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL it was quite sad that he was some pathetic mama’s boy who didn’t have the balls to stand up for himself.
–What grown man drives a purple muscle car? John Corbett who plays Mr. Garrett Peterson screams “HELP!!! I’m trying to relive my youth!!” every time that Dodge Charger appeared on screen.
IT WAS HILARIOUS
–I laughed way too hard, and the movie wasn’t a comedy. Jennifer Lopez was just stupid the entire movie. It was like watching one of those horror movies where you’re constantly screaming at the white chick who always trips over a branch in the woods. And the ending was as crappy as the ending of Halle Berry’s The Call. They need to stop with these over-the-top, trying to be gruesome so can’t be realistic battle scars. An epipen? REALLLYYY!! It was so unrealistic, and it made the quality of the movie just plummet even more! Who knew that was possible?
Overall, The Boy Next Door had the same appeal as the The Ice Cream Man, a cheap film made back in 1995, so that is by NO MEANS a compliment.